THE WIFE-SWAPPING PARTY
as recited by
Eric Idle
from 'Rutland Weekend Television'

I went to a wife-swopping party
And nobody asked me to swop.
Deidre, my wife, had the time of her life,
With the man from the off-licence shop.
But his wife was minding the business,
And he'd only come with the wine
Still, he went round all night, swopping on sight
I do wish he hadn't swopped mine.

Now, Deidre, my wife, she's a shy girl,
And doesn't like to say no,
And though, in the past, she's never been fast
Last night she never went slow.
But I sat all night at the orgy,
And no-one asked me to indulge
The things that I saw going on, on the floor,
Would make your eyes goggle and bulge...