T.W. Connor
Billy Bennett
How much we could do, as this world we pass through,
That is, if we didn't get caught.
Why should tripe and onions be ninepence a yard
And coals only fourpence a quart!
To build up a land for bald headed mice
The women are playing their parts,
While thousands of men with no corns on their feet
Are playing shove-ha'penny and darts! 

Then do as you'd be done by
Every Saturday night,
Do what you can and who you can...
Only see that you do 'em alright.
Whether by trade you're a cod-fish
Or only a poor millionaire,
You can always be happy with one girl...
Providing your wife isn't there!

There's lots of old ladies to give good advice, 
But old cows give the milk ev'ry time, 
Then why should a woman keep changing her mind 
When changing your shirt is a crime? 
There's many a cock fowl who can't lay an egg, 
And to try and lay bricks, he's afraid. 
There's many a man dyes his whiskers, as well, 
But not one has died an old-maid!

Then do as you'd be done by 
To keep the lean wolf from the door, 
If he comes in by the window 
Well, he won't come through the door 
Life is a riddle, remember 
It's better this world to go through 
With spots on your reputation 
Than nobs on your How-de-ye-do!

What is it that History tells us 
A sausage can bark like a dog 
You can always make hay while the sun shines, 
But you can't make snowballs out of fog. 
Our brave Flying Squad-who don't care a rap, 
Tho' theirs is a dangerous job. 
The Burglar too, we must give him his due
Three cheers! and 'one for his nob.'

Then do as you'd be done by
When poverty enters your shack,
It's cruel to keep borrowing money
But it's better than giving it back!
No man likes 'putting his clock back'
And 'marking his eggs' isn't right,
But you'd better have winkles on Sunday
Than twins on a Saturday night! 
The end