Billy Bennett
(Almost a Gentleman)
Billy Bennett
In an estaminet a French dancer one day
Did the can-can for soldiers' enticement;
She was doing her best when some stitches went west
And I bust my drum with excitement.

I said to that girl, who was taller than me, 
The way soldiers love I will teach yer.
Said she, 'You're too small.' Said I, 'Not at all,
If I stand on my drum I can reach yer.'

That night I got canned and I dreamt of that girl:
I was playfully just going to slap her, 
When a sock in the jaw woke me up and I saw
I was stroking the sergeant's bald napper.

With Corporal White I was having a fight, 
One of those Army rough houses;
He kicked me around the room, I kept going boom-boom,
I'd the drum in the seat of my trouses.

When parading one day my braces gave way, 
But don't jump to a hasty conclusion.
I may have turned red but I still kept my head, 
For my drum helped to hide my confusion.

I was getting on well with a fine buxom gel, 
She had a figure like Venus;
I found a quiet spot, that's as far as I got, 
For I found that my drum came between us. 
The end