NURSERY RHYME NONSENSE
by
Billy Bennett
(Almost a Gentleman)





Hang up the baby's stocking,
Be sure you don't forget;
To-day is pussy's birthday,
And we're not downhearted yet.

So ring-a-ring a roses,
Ashoo! all fall down;
The tailors charge too much for clothes,
Their trousers should come down.

Sing a song o' sixpence,
A pocket full o' rye;
Our linnet's had its hair bobbed
So of course it cannot fly.

I had a doggie bow-wow,
It wasn't very large;
It died, alack, but it came back
Inside a fat soss-age.

Can you mend my dolly?
The little maiden said;
Her legs and arms and body's gone,
And I can't find her head.

The cows are in the clover,
The baa lambs in the dell,
Mother's with the angels now
And Daddy's gone t~sleep.

A little ship was on the sea,
It was a pretty sight,
But it couldn't "breast the billows"
'Cause its weskit was too tight.

Baa. baa, Mister Blacksheep,
Have you any wool?
No, sir, I've gone broody-
I feel like Barney's bull.

Hick'ry, dick'ry, dock-on,
The clock was striking one,
The mouse ran down and shouted:
"Liar! An hour they've shoved you on.

Taffy was a Welshman,
Taffy was a thief,
The cow jumped over the moon and then
Up went the price of beef.

Willie to his rabbit said:
"Oh, do buck up and grow."
But Bunny said: "I can't buck up
Because I am a doe."

Daddy had a clucky hen,
It wouldn't give us eggs,
But from to-day it's sure to lay
'Cause I chopped off its legs.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
For water in a pail
Jill came down with half a crown,
And Felix wagged his tail.

Mary had a little lamb,
She used to call it Flo;
It hadn't any lambkins,
So she changed its name to Joe.

"I won't cry any more, Ma,"
Thus said a maiden shy;
'The more I, cry the less I drink
And oh, I am so dry.''

Tom, he was a piper's son:
He played a piping note;
But horsey cocked its tail up,
Knocked the pipe down Tommy's throat.