'ARF A CIGAR
written by Martyn Herbert and Herberte Jordan Performed by Will Deller I've found a cigar, leastways, 'arf a cigar, Well its only a stump, still it's there. Not a bad sort o' find when you're down on your luck; It'll last twenty minutes, wiv care. Things 'as bin pretty bad, an' I'm very near broke, I've not 'ad a smoke all the day. It don't run to cigars, so 'ere's jolly good luck To the chap as threw this one away. I shan't 'arf cause a stir as I stroll in the Park, (I shall probably sleep there tonight.) 'Obnobbin' wiv some o' the swells as I know, Well, that is, I know 'em by sight. It gives you ideas when you're smokin' cigars, I shan't lunch at Lockhart's to-day I shall dine with Duke 'Umphrey, an' kid I'm a torf, Like the chap as threw this one away. Very likely the feller as threw this away 'As troubles enough of his own; A position to keep up, a 'alf dozen kids, An' a wife as won't let 'im alone. So I dare say I'm 'appier, when all's said an' done Wiv me shag an' me dirty ole clay. You can 'ave your cigars, but I wouldn't changes places Wiv the chap as threw this one away.
The end