THE BRICKLAYER'S STORY
by
Gerard Hoffnung
I've got this thing here that I must read to you.
Now, this is a very tragic thing... I shouldn't, really, read
it out.
A striking lesson in keeping the upper lip stiff is given
in a recent number of the weekly bulletin of 'The Federation
of Civil Engineering Contractors' that prints the following
letter from a bricklayer in Golders Green to the firm for
whom he works.

Respected sir,
when I got to the top of the building, I found that the hurricane
had knocked down some bricks off the top. So I rigged up a
beam, with a pulley, at the top of the building and hoisted
up a couple of barrels of bricks.
When I had fixed the building, there was a lot of bricks left
over.
I hoisted the barrel back up again and secured the line at
the bottom and then went up and filled the barrel with the
extra bricks.
Then, I went to the bottom and cast off the rope.
Unfortunately, the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was
and before I knew what was happening, the barrel started down,
jerking me off the ground.
I decided to hang on!
Halfway up, I met the barrel coming down... and received a
severe blow on the shoulder.
I then continued to the top, banging my head against the beam
and getting my fingers jammed in the pulley!
When the barrel hit the ground, it burst it's bottom... allowing
all the bricks to spill out.
I was now heavier than the barrel and so started down again
at high speed!
Halfway down... I met the barrel coming up and received severe
injury to my shins!
When I hit the ground... I landed on the bricks, getting several
painful cuts from the sharp edges!
At this point... I must have lost my presence of mind... because
I let go of the line!
The barrel then came down... giving me a very heavy blow and
putting me in hospital!
I respectfully request 'sick leave'. |
