EXTREME LOGIC
by
Gilbert Wells

 A countryman once with a very small brain,
Stood by an inn door in the fast falling rain; 
Along came the squire, who was fond of his joke, 
And fun at Daft Jamie he started to poke. 

'They tell me you're clever,' to Jamie said he;
Said Jamie, 'Well, Squoier, that be just as may be.' 
'Well then,' said the squire, 'I'll put you to the test, 
But come inside, the landlord sells ale of the best.' 

As Jamie was willing they entered the bar,
And the squire paid for ale and said, 'Now there you are, 
I'll ask you a question to see what you're worth...
Can you tell me straight off, what's the shape of the earth?' 

'Sure you'm fixed oi that toime, Squoier,' Daft Jamie said, 
'A question loike that puts oi roight off moi yed; 
But just wait for ten minutes... Oi wunnot be moor
An' oi'll run an' ax passon... 'e'll tell oi for sure.' 

He ran off at once, as the squire said he'd wait, 
And found Parson Brown at the Vicarage gate, 
Then said, 'Passon, in order to see what oi'm worth, 
Squoier axed oi to tell un the shape of the earth!' 

Said the parson, 'A question for you now I'll choose
Can you tell me the shape of the snuff-box I use?' 
'That be easy,' said Jamie, 'that question's quite fair 
Oi knows your snuff-box, an' Oi knows it be square.'

'That's my week-day one,' answered the parson, and frowned, 
'But my Sunday one?' 'Oi know,' said Jamie, it's round!' 
'That proves,' said the parson, 'of wits you've no dearth
You're quite right... its round, Jamie, and so is the earth,' 

Then off Jamie ran, found the squire at the inn
'Oi can answer thee now, Squoier,' he said with a grin, 
'To put oi to troial an' prove what oi'm worth,
You'm asked oi to tell 'ee the shape of the earth 

It's just loike passon's snuff-box, it's truth that oi speak
Round on Sunday, an' square all the rest of the week!'  
The end