Cuthbert Rose and Winifrid Fairley
A tutor went one day to teach
A rich man's lovely daughter
The four rules of arithmetic
And this is how he taught her.
The first rule was a simple one
He showed by love's tuition,
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice,
And said, 'Now that's Addition.'
And so he added kiss to kiss,
In joyful satisfaction,
And then he took a few, from her,
And said, 'Now that's Subtraction.'
And so they sat there side by side
In mututal admiration,
He said, whilst paying back tenfold,
'This is Multiplication.'
But papa thought he heard one day
The sounds of osculation.
He asked his daughter what it meant,
By mild expostulation.
And when he learnt the truth from her
He shouted in derision,
He kicked the tutor from the door
And said, 'That's Long Division!'