MY PETS
by
Arthur Helliar (1900)
 There's a bitterness within my soul and anguish in my heart
When I think of all the different pets from which I've had to part
When I had a caterpillar first - a funny pet you'll say
By unremitting care I hoped to win its love some day
It's legs were like an elephants in shape not size I mean
I'd never time to count how many gross there may have been
Its parents must have oft rejoiced that boots it didn't need
And if it had a crop of corns I pittied it indeed
One day inside the linnet's cage it crawled - a sad mistake
For the linnet thought a pleasant little entree it would make
Alas, ere many a day had passed I'd scarce got over that
When the linnet found a light and pleasing luncheon for the cat
The cat next day with Fido rashly wrangled o'er a bone
And ere I'd time to interfere, all pussie's lives had flown
But Fido found his Waterloo though later in the day
He argued with a motor-car about the right of way
A most unwise proceeding which resulted in his doom
And he promptly joined my other pets inside the silent tomb
And my heart was full of sorrow and my soul was filled with gloom

One day, a short time after, I was fishing in the sea
When I caught a lovely bloater which I thought I'd have for tea
I was in the act of taking it with care from off the hook
When it gazed into my eyes with such a sweet pathetic look
To slay it after that would be like murder on my soul
So I took it home and placed it with some water in a bowl
One day I thought why need a fish in water dwell at all
Birds live in air and beasts on land and insects too which crawl
So ev'ry day for several weeks I took some drops away
Till there without one single spot my beautious bloater lay
And then I placed it in a cage, it tried to hop a bit
But several days elapsed ere on the perch it learnt to sit
It grew quite fond of bird seed and it even tried to sing
When I listened to its efforts tears it used to bring
Alas, the day soon came when I was petless once again
For I placed it in the garden and there came a shower of rain
I flew to fetch it in, but when I reached the cage I found
'Twas lying cold and stark and dead, my bloater had been drowned.  
The end