But Lucan says "Not now, we've got t' mornin' off,
Fact we might not be needed today."

See, The 'Eavy Brigade charged that mornin',
An' that 'ad been quite a success.
They gave t' Russians a reet proper pastin',
But left t' pitch in a bit of a mess.

Then t' 93rd. 'Ighland Division marched in,
Their kilts in the wind they were blowin'.
None of them knew where the wind came from,
But they all knew where it was goin'.

An' in the confusion of t' battle,
Some Turks as we'd lent some guns to
Were takin' some stick from t' Russians.
They left t' guns where they were, an' they flew.

Lord Raglan, now e' were the gaffer,
'Cos 'e were the oldest one there,
'Ad 'eard that these Russians were usin' our guns,
An' 'e didn't think this were quite fair.

So 'e's written some orders to Lucan,
Which 'e's read over lunch in 'is tent.
They said: 'Lucan, recapture those canons!'
But didn't say which ones 'e meant.
  Captain Nolan, who'd brought 'im the orders,
Said "Leave it to me, lad, I know."
Lucan didn't like orders wot came from above,
Let alone those wot came from below!

'E's decided to phone up Lord Raglan,
Well, any road up like, 'e tries,
An' somebody lent 'im two pennies,
But the phone box 'ad been vandalized.

So, there they were, 'alf- way through dinner
Wi' orders to charge after noon.
British Summertime ended the Sunday before,
So they'd 'ave to do summat quite soon.

So, Lucan an' Cardigan inspected the pitch.
Wot wi' 'orses an' 'Ighlanders' boots
An' thumpin' great canon balls burstin' all round,
The grass were worn down to the roots.

Now Cardigan, who lived aboard 'is private yacht,
'Cos 'e were a reet proper toff,
Not wishin' to get 'is boots dirty,
Wanted Lucan to call it all off.

But then, to their 'orror, Bert Wainthrop,
Who'd been listenin' to t' rumours, went back
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