Sam says "They always sod off on a Sat'day,
I think they all go down to t' park."

Then t' Guv'nor 'e says (all sarcastical, like)
"When you find time, now, please, lads, don't rush.
Will you get off your arses and find 'em?"
Sam says "What? When I've got Royal Flush?"

Just then, all of t' staff chucked their 'ands in
An' decided that t' best thing to do,
Just to humour their Guv'nor, they'd pop round to t' park
An' at least try an' bring back a few.

But, to their sheer amazement an' wonder,
They found the whole lot, all together,
A sight to impress, in a state of undress,
Kickin' round this big ball made of leather.

Well, they stood an' they watched for 'alf 'our,
Even t' Guv'nor said t' were good clean fun.
Nobody got maimed, raped or murdered.
'Part from blokes kissin' blokes, no harm done.

An' t' kissin' was only when one of the lads
Kicked t' ball between t' posts into t' net
  An' Sam says to t' Guv'nor "I said not to worry,
Not one's ever buggered off yet."

But t' Guv'nor 'e says "This'll all 'ave to stop,
Can't just let them stroll out when they like."
But, as soon as the patients all 'eard about this
Their Shop Steward says "Right lads. On strike!"

Now t' patients they acted dead sane all that week
An' t' warders all got quite annoyed,
Till Sam says to t' Guv'nor "If they keep this up
Me an' thee's goin' to be unemployed!"

"Tha's right, Sam." says t' Guv'nor, "I know, tell thee what
We'll let them play on, as before,
But you an' your warders, you all go an' watch 'em,
Keep an eye out, just so's we know t'score."

So for t' next three or four Sat'days after,
'Stead of t' card school, or 'avin' a rest,
Sam an' t' warders all went off to t' park to see t' game
An' they started to take interest.

Pretty soon they got fed up just watchin',
They thought they'd like to 'ave a game too,
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