Well, I headed out round dinnertime, to clean up the pigsties,
Pausing just to change my wellies, ‘cos they didn’t match my eyes!
I changed my routine slightly, I’m not sure exactly how,
But I got this urge to warm my hands, before I milked the cow.
I wore my brand new dungarees, tucked into my wellie tops,
But every couple of minutes, I kept adjusting the straps!
I felt so full of energy, that I just could not sit still,
I was washing, hosing, painting, and scrubbing with a will.
Before the week was out, Begod, You wouldn’ta known the place,
Everything so shining bright, it could be seen from outer space!
I tried to lie and watch TV, and scratch my nether regions,
But I just kept seeing things to clean – ideas came in legions.
I sat through Coronation Street - thon Norris gets my goat
And I even watched the adverts, without flicking the remote!
  I moved round all the furniture, I washed and cleaned the beds,
I re-shuffled the machinery, outside in all the sheds,
I couldn’t start the silage, for I didn’t want to be seen
With a big RED silage trailer, when the bloody tractor’s GREEN!

So I thought I’d take a mini break, just for a couple of days,
To see if I could settle down, and cure this cleaning craze.
So I hunted out my suit and cap, and gave the welly boots a wipe,
And headed off to Keady, with the tractor full’o’the pipe!
I went in to one of them hair saloons, to tidy up the thatch,
The chairs were all black leather, and the ‘boys’ all dressed to match
The one that done it seemed surprised, for he asked me at least twice,
But I got a very nice blue rinse, and he only charged half price!
The next day was a Thursday, and I thought that I just might go,
And take the train down to Balmoral, to see the Agricultural Show,
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