Jimmy Rafferty

  One is sure you recognise One – you’ll have seen One on TV
Opening things, and closing things, and waving quite nicely
One’s been Queen for simply ages – One’s Diamond Jubilee is due
But to tell the truth, One’s bored to death with all the ballyhoo

Flying here, and driving there, at each ones beck and call
Greeted by boring arseholes in every port of call
Businessmen and councilors, and rogues who are on the make!
One would need to count one’s fingers after each handshake!
Opening schools and hospitals, planting trees and being ‘nice’
The tabloids think that One is broke, if One wears the same hat twice!

Those Palace Garden Parties – thousands in for tea and grub
Stealing cuttings off the plants, and peeing behind a shrub
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