So at night, t' council took all their 'oles back to t' depot,
As their young Clerk of Works had ordained,
An' made sure each one 'ad been turned upside down,
So they'd not all fill up when it rained.

But they found there were 'oles goin' missin'
'Cos security weren't all that strict.
They'd an idea t' grave-digger were 'elpin' 'imself
An' Gawd knows 'ow many 'e'd nicked..

An' one of the council's own workmen,
To 'im, pichin' 'oles weren't that 'ard,
'E'd used two six foot lengths out of t' high street
For a goldfish pond in 'is back yard.

An' that time t' football pitch 'as got flooded
By some young lads, just 'avin' a prank
Wot got fed up wi' 'umpin' this big 'ole around
An' then dumped it on t' canal bank.

But, gen'rally speakin', 't were workin' quite well,
Till one night, a force nineteen gale hit,
An' these 'oles all got blown into t' corner of t' yard
An' formed one enormous great pit.

  It were thirty foot wide an' some twenty foot deep,
Right be'ind Ernie 'Igginbottom's cart,
An' 'e 'ad a shockin' 'angover.
When 'e's come in t' next mornin' to start.

'E's fetched 'orse from t' stables, backed 'im up between shafts,
Wi' 'is collar an' 'arness an' stuff,
An' then nipped to t' canteen for one more mug o' tea,
Seein' as 'ow 'e were feelin' dog rough.

'Is eyesight at t' best of times weren't all that good,
T' wind an' t' rain in 'is face made it worse.
'E climbed up on 'is cart an' 'as said "Giddyup!",
But forgot 'e'd left t' 'orse in reverse.

That's why they stopped takin' their 'oles back to depot,
An' you're findin' 'em all over town.
'Cos they're leavin' their 'oles where they dig 'em,
But this time they're nailin' 'em down!


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