The Father, Son and Holy Ghost would surely be impressed
When referred to in a mumble as ‘Daddy-o and all the rest’.
Then Our Lady was insulted when he mentioned Virgin Mary
Referring to ‘the young blokes Mum’, as ‘Mary, quite contrary’.

He announced the bans of marriage, said Miss Wade was up the duff,
While half a dozen spinsters cried that he’d gone far enough.
Praying for dear departed souls he mentioned Mrs. Bell,
Said she’d had a mile of lovers and would now be down in Hell!

All the boozers he admonished and condemned them for their drink.
Swore he ‘never touched the stuff - Lord knows what folks might think!’
And in summation of his sermon he declared the raucous crowd
A pack of heathen devils of whom the church could not be proud!

  And in a final memo, told the folk remaining there -
Of a peter-pulling contest at St. Toffee’s Easter Fair!!!
Then he roared out to the Heaven’s with hellfire and brimstone
And fell head over turkey with a death defying groan

Sure the Spirit that possessed him was not the Holy One,
And Mrs. Jimmy Clancy has disowned her youngest son!

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