OUT FOR THE COUNT
by
Dave Carr
  My sister's halloween party
Was cancelled before the weekend
'Cos she'd cricked her neck bobbin' for apples
So I found myself at a loose end

I thought I'd go hunting for vampires
Out in Transylvania they're rife;
And it’s the place to visit this year,
I read it in Lancashire Life

I knew I'd need stakes to fight vampires;
I looked to see what I could find.
I packed a few stumps in my sports bag
And a bat that Fred Flintoff had signed

I flagged down a taxi in Chorley.
It was long and shiny and black
I said "Cabby do you know Transylvania?"
He said "Aye lad, 'Op in t' back"

I got in alongside a coffin
I said "Am I having to share?"
He said "Don't worry lad, it's empty,
But I'll knock you five quid off the fare"

Continue Return