Dave Carr

(with apologies to J. Milton Hayes)

  There's a stub-horned, puzzled rhino in the north at Chester Zoo,
There's a little marble cup, its contents gone;
There's a pining nymphomaniac sheds a tear for Rabid Stu,
And the stub horned, puzzled rhino grazes on.

He was known as Rabid Stu by the staff of Chester Zoo,
He was hotter than a rutting stag at bay;
'Cos if it wore a skirt he would woo and he would flirt;
And his conquests numbered many so they say.

He had watched her from afar as she stepped out from her car,
She had parked between the reptiles and the bats;
And he planned to make a play by the middle of the day,
When she'd finished feeding her big cats.

She was by the lion's cage, she was nearly twice his age,
But he viewed her with a morbid fascination;
And before the day was done, they were both entwined as one,
In a shed behind the big cat's reservation.
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