Dave Carr

Whilst contemplating, down the pub,
My New Year's resolution,
All in a flash it came to me,
I hit on the solution

I'm tired of trying to be good
They say that Who dares wins!
So this year I resolved to try
The seven deadly sins

I thought that to begin with,
I'd try a spot of LUST
I saw the barmaid's low cut top
And peeked in at her bust

My face was stinging as I left,
And slowly wandered home.
Perhaps lust was a deadly sin
That's better left alone

So GLUTTONY, I can't go wrong,
I shouldn't need to worry.
I stopped off at the chippy and
Had fish, chips, peas and curry.

I've never had such problems with
My ‘iron' constitution,
But now I had some doubts about
This New Years resolution

Maybe GREED's more up my street;
That surely can't go wrong.
I'll sit at home and count my cash,
But that didn't take long!

I thought I'd have a day of SLOTH
And so I pulled a sickie.
I tried hard to ignore the phone,
Let's face it…it's quite tricky.

I didn't do the washing up,
I didn't feed the cat;
Eventually I just got bored,
So that's enough of that.

I got myself worked up with WRATH,
Aggressive and demanding.
I took a jumper back to Marks;
They were quite understanding

Ah ENVY; do not covet now
Thy neighbours wife or ass.
But his wife's ass is something else!
She's quite a shapely lass.

I think he saw me eye her up,
He gave me quite an earful.
In fact he was extremely rude,
I'll have to be more careful.

I've had it with these deadly sins,
Though heaven knows I've tried.
I'm not cut out for being bad,
At least I have my PRIDE!
The end