THE 'Y' FACTOR
by
Jimmy Rafferty

  When I seen the Telly advert, I says 'that's the job for me'
They were looking for contestants for X-factor on TV.
Me boyfriend said I hadn't a hope, but then he's a wee bit thick
I think his name is Richard, 'cos his mates all call him Dick!

There was auditions at the Hilton, on the following Tuesday week
And I swore that I would go for it, and not listen to thon geek!
I thought I'd be a sure thing, with me looks and me funky hair
And I used to work in Tesco's, so I must be halfway there!

There wuz other ones from Ulster, like, had made it right'n big
Like Malachi McWot-is-Name, and thon wee lad, E-ogg-han Quigg
And they were all country gapshites – sure I thought it was a pity
They were not cool and sophisticated, not like us'ns from the city!
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