© Baz Cooper 1999
  It was one Christmas Day on the Bounty
And the crew were all manning their stations
As Captain Bligh up on the poop deck
Did his Charles Laughton impersonations.

Fletcher Christian was Bligh's sworn enemy;
He had style and éclat and panache.
He'd practise for hours with his cutlass
And he'd often pop out for a slash.

Now the crew put a tree up for Christmas;
"Hang up crackers", the captain had said
But the Bounty was fresh out of crackers
So they hung up Ryvita instead.

The tree looked exceedingly gruesome
And gave off a peculiar smell;
For the cook had been told to festoon it with lights
And he’d put up some liver as well.

In the gunwales there sat Long John Silver
Who was talking to Captain James Cook.
"Oh begging your pardon, my Cap'n,
But I reckons we're in the wrong book."
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