(Parody of The Raven)
Dave Carr
  Late one night in late December, just how late I can't remember
Curled up by the glowing embers, watching Bond with Roger Moore.
Thought I heard a kind of glabbling, then again a blobbling, blabbling,
Glubbling, plobbling, blubbling, globbling just outside my kitchen door.
"Carol singers, hmph!" I muttered, "glabbling at my kitchen door.
Let's get back to Roger Moore."

As the glabbling grew stronger, I could take this crap no longer,
Dashing from my cosy lounge I hurled aside the kitchen door.
In the gloomy, misty, murky blackness I perceived a turkey
Perched upon a garden gnome and staring at my kitchen door.
"Tell me what on earth they call you Mr. Turkey I implore."
Quoth the Turkey "Neville Moore"

"Thought I heard my uncle Roger, maybe you could use a lodger,
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