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JOHNNY SANDS
by Anon
Submitted by Martin McDowell

A man whose name was Johnny Sands
Had married Betty Haig
And though she brought him gold and lands,
She proved a terrible plague.

For oh, she was a scolding wife,
Full of caprice and whim.
He said that he was tired of life,
And she was tired of him!"
And she was tired of him!"

Said he, "Then I shall drown myself,
The river runs below."
Said she, " Pray do, you silly elf,
I wished it long ago!".
I wished it long ago!"

"For fear that I should courage lack
And try to save my life
Pray tie my hands behind my back."
"I will!" replied his wife.
"I will!" replied his wife.

She tied them fast, as you may think
And when securely done,
"Now stand," said she, "Upon the brink,
And I'll prepare to run."
And I'll prepare to run."

All down the hill his loving bride
Now ran with all her force,
To push him in... he stepped aside
And she fell in, of course.
And she fell in, of course.

Now splashing, dashing like a fish,
"Oh save me, Johnny Sands!"
"I can't my dear, though much I wish,
For you have tied my hands."
For you have tied my hands."

 
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