Home Search Site Amazon Shop Tell a Friend Message Board Bookmark

 

 
 
 
 
 

A NAUGHTY LITTLE POEM
Anonymous

She whispered "Will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."

She said "I'm very frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times
And said it can be sore."

It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been a size.

"Calm yourself" he whispered
"His face filled with a grin
"Try and open wider
So I can get it in."

"It's coming now" he whispered
"I know" she cried in bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I'm having this."

And with a final effort
She gave a frightened shout
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.

She lay back quite contended
Sighed and gave a smile
She said "I'm glad I came now
You made it worth my while."

Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!

Monologues

THE DRUNK
Anon

Monologues

He grabbed me by my slender neck
I couldn't yell or scream.
He took me to his dingy room
Where we could not be seen.
He stripped me of my flimsy wrap,
And gazed upon my form.
I was wet and cold and damp,
And he was nice and warm.
His feverish lips he pressed to mine,
I gave him every drop.
He drained me of my very self,
And I couldn't make him stop.
He made me what I am today,
That's why you find me here...
A broken bottle, tossed away,
That once was full of beer.


 
 
 
Hilda Hose
Arthur and Sam
The Barking Creek Bell-Ringer's Daughter
The Bleedin' Sparrer
The Doggies Meeting
Edward And The Lioness
Ernie Dunn
Euphemia
The Farting Contest
Fine, Thank You
Harkin' To Messiah
Hoily Rigs
Johnny Sands
A MacAesop Fable
The Million Tonne Tanker
A Naughty Poem
Paddy And The Rope
It's A Sad, Sad Story
The Scotsman's Kilt
The Tyneside Tattooist
Owd Natty Dane
 

 
 
Lion and Albert
Roy Castle, Les Dawson
and Thora Hird are
amongst the stars
reading this collection of classic Mariott Edgar
monologues.
 
Lion and Albert
 
Something Like This...
 
GRand Prix
 
What Goes Up...
 
Robb Wilton's War
 
Bernard Miles