Carolus Rex
( Sax Rohmer) (1922)
performed by
Bransby Williams
Billy Bennett
 Watchin' the tide go out,
Over the shiny sand,
Leavin' it there, as smooth an' as bare,
As the back of a baby's 'and!

Only a quarter to twelve. 
Fifteen minutes from now
Afore I can dip my bow sprit 
In a pint at the Bull an' Cow.

After the life I've led.
Perils by land and sea,
Nobody knows wot a dog I've been,
Nobody, not even me!

Think o' the wrecks I've seen, 
Through my spy-glass standin' 'ere.
Think o' the gallant lifeboat lads,
Wot I've watched from the end o' the pier!

It's a pretty spot, Dozey Bay, 
As any I've been to or seen,
Tho' as I've stood just 'ere for the past forty year 
I don't know when I've been!

I knows ev'ry winkle an' crab, 
Wot lives in this part o' the sea.
First thing I says is, 'Good mornin', crabs,' 
An' the crabs all wink at me!

The pirate of Dozey Bay,
That's wot they calls me down 'ere.
They asks me to pitch yarns of bloodshed an' sich, 
An' they stands me pints o' beer.

I'm the fisherman's sailin' mark, 
Which 'as earned me many a swipe.
Comin' in they all steer in a line with the pier 
An' the end o' my old clay pipe!

Old ladies they offers me tracts - 
An' I makes little children cry
When I leans on the rail an' I pitches my tale 
Of the 'orrible days gone by.

Yes! I was a pirate once, 
That's wot I used to be!
Scuttlin' a boat or cuttin' a throat 
Was all alike to me!

Now that my whiskers is grey,
It sounds a queer remark
To tell you once I was known I was
As Black Roger the Ocean Shark! 

From Clyde to Vigo Bay -
Wherever that may be!
You only 'ad to whisper the words
In pidgin or Portugee.

'Black Roger the Ocean Shark' -
Lor' lummy, you'd 'ave seen
Strong men feel queer, upset their beer,
An' ev'ry face turn green! 

Mine was a name o' dread.
Wot a black 'eart I'd got - 
Black as my whiskers used to be,
An' as 'ard as a galleypot.

I owned 'alf the Spanish Main,
No cat's 'ad so many lives,
I'd a couple o' score of a crew or more,
An' I 'ad about ninety wives!

There was white 'uns an' brown 'uns too -
An' some just as black as my boot,
Two dozen was fair, with long golden 'air, 
An' one was as bald as a coot!

Ho! I didn't know she was bald.
I might never 'ave tumbled the game,
Only one night she left 'er thingummyjig 
On top of the wot's-is-name!

There was one 'ad a wooden leg! 
Ah! she was a lucky wife!
I reckon I owe to that timber toe 
As I didn't lose my life.

We was cast away in a boat,
We'd been wrecked in a dreadful gale.
'Alf barmy with thirst, our 'eads fit to burst, 
When, 'A sail!' I 'ollers... 'A sail!'

'Ow to attract their heye? 
We was crazy with despair
When I ties my shirt to 'er timber toe 
An' she waves 'er leg in the air!

Watchin' the tide go out
Good mornin' mum, thanks! Tails win! Tails! -
Ho! the door's open now at the old Bull an' Cow. 
It's time that the tide come in! 
The end