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FISH FOR LUNCHEON
A Monologue For A County Lady On A Garden Seat
Written for Edith Evans
by
Herbert Farjeon

You must all come over again on Tuesday.
That will be delightful.
And do bring the girls.
I insist on the girls.
Archie is simply dying to see the girls.
Bring all the girls.
Bring them to luncheon.
Bring them to luncheon on Tuesday.
That will be delicious.
And you must tell me what you would like fur luncheon.
Would you like fish for luncheon?
And would the girls like fish for luncheon?
You are quite sure the girls would all like fish for luncheon?
Then we'll have fish for luncheon.
That will be great fun.
We'll send the Lagonda to fetch you.
No, we can't send the Lagonda, the Lagonda will be out.
We'll send the Chrysler to fetch you.
I'm afraid the Chrysler isn't the Lagonda.
But we'll make you as comfortable as we can in the Chrysler.
And we will definitely send you back in the Lagonda.
Archie will drive you back in the Lagonda himself—won't you, Archie?
Do come over here, Archie.
I want you to be quite sure to keep next Tuesday quite, quite free, Archie.
We've been hatching the most exciting plot.
They're all coming over on Tuesday, and they've promised to bring the girls,
and we're going to have fish for luncheon.
That will be enchanting. . . .
And what do you think of our Archie?
Such a dear boy.
We are all very, very fond of Archie.
He gets more and more like his father every session.
I'm so glad you think so.
It's extremely kind of you to say so.
It's quite wonderful how he's come on since he came down.
He was quite different when he came down from when he went up.
I always knew he would get through.
I do feel he's bound to get on if he can only get in.
But he really is doing very, very well.
So is our dear Donald.
Donald is doing quite remarkably well.
I sometimes think Donald is doing even better than Archie,
And how is your Alec doing?
Now isn't that splendid?
Of course, he was always certain to do well.
I'm sure the Board of Agriculture must be all over him.
I do think there is so much to be said for the Board of Agriculture.
And what about the Ormesby-Wilmots?
Isn't it too tragic about the Ormesby-Wilmots?
It doesn't seem possible for Northamptonshire
To go on without the Ormesby-Wilmots.
I do hope the new people are going to fit in.
It is such a pity when people don't fit in.
We have had our suspicions.
I have heard they are rather inclined to play ping-pong in the barn.
Archie says, if they play ping-pong in the barn,
God knows what they do in the stable.
Archie is really very, very naughty.
He will be so delighted to see the girls.
You are going to bring all the girls?
I positively insist on all the girls.
And we'll fetch you in the Chrysler...
If you think you really can put up with the Chrysler.
And it's to be fish for luncheon ... if you're quite, quite sure
You would all like fish for luncheon...
Then we'll definitely have fish for luncheon...

 
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