performed by
Tommy Handley

We've been trying hard to polish up our 'Hitler'
By struggling through the turgid book 'Mein Campf'
We have waded through his views on encirclement and Jews
'Til our brows... with perspiration are quite damp.
For we're told to know our enemies - a motto
Which the prudent soldier always bears in mind
But we'd feel a little surer, if we really knew our fuehrer
If the answer to these problems we could find.

Does Adolph wear pyjamas or a night-shirt?
Does he take his teeth out when he goes to bed?
Is that unruly lock of hair, a detachable affair
Which he hangs up on the bed-post, overhead?
He looks so big and fierce in all his war-paint
But once he's hung his raincoat on the door
And removed that awful tunic that cost fifty bob in Munich
There's a very little nazi in the raw.

His moustache... I wonder if it's really pucker
Or neatly made to clip on to the face
Does he shelter from the bombs in potato fibre combs
With swastikas emboidered on the base?
As the fuehrer nears the climax of his strip-tease
Does each S.S. man avert his blushing head?
'Til he lies there, gently smiling and they exit backwards... heiling
For a very little nazi's safe in bed.

I wonder what he thinks of in the night-time
Does Goerring, just to make him feel at home
In a merry widow dress, do a waltz with Rudolph Hess
Accompanied by Goebbles, on a comb.
And when all attempts at slumber prove aborted
Does he count the nazi party or just sheep?
No more thoughts of war or shooting... in repose but still saluting
A very little nazi's fast asleep.
The end