(who looks like Charlie Chaplin)
Tommy Handley
Now we've seen a lot of pictures of the people in the news,
And we've got to know a lot of them, by sight.
Chamberlain, with his umberella... Winston Churchill with his hats
Or Belitia, well we know him , all right.
But there's one who's lovely photograph we've seen for years and years
And we ask ourselves this question every time his face appears...

Who is this man who looks like Charlie Chaplin?
What makes him think that he can win a war?
It can't be the mouchache... that only makes us laugh
And Charlie's done it better... and before.

If it wasn't for the boots and cane and trousers,
You couldn't tell the two of them apart
But the whole idea's absurd
Charlie's never said a word
And Adolf couldn't play a silent part.

Imagine Adolf starring in 'The Gold Rush'
He hasn't got a half of Charlie's charms
But he gives a lot of troubles... to his film director, Goebbels
When he plays the leading part in 'Shoulder Arms'

He's amusing when he tries to play the villain
It's bound to get a laugh in every clime
I believe it's all a fake-up
And despite all of the make-up
We're convinced it's Charlie Chaplin... all the time.

Supposing Charlie Chaplin got the fever
A war would be a comedy pro tem
Imagine Adolf getting skittish... signing pacts with 'Gaumont British'
And dropping custard pies on 'MGM'

Charlie Chaplin would be louder, bigger, funnier
With him in charge the battles would be fun
And the chief of his gestapo wouldn't be Karl Marx... but Harpo
And he'd soon have Shirley Temple on the run.

If Adolf was in business, he'd try sob-stuff
East Lym would be the story from the start
Little Eva, played by Göring would be a trifle boring
I'd sooner see Charles Laughton in the part.

But don't let us be too hard on poor old Adolf
He's a Godsend to the comics, he's sublime
Cartoonists love his make-up... but one morning we shall wake up
And find it's Charlie Chaplin all the time!
The end