Childhood
        
SIR SMASHAM UPPE
by E.V. Rieu Good afternoon, Sir Smasham Uppe! We're having tea: do take a cup! Sugar and milk? - Now let me see Two lumps, I think? . . . Good gracious me! The silly thing slipped off your knee! Pray don’t apologize, old chap: A very trivial mishap! So clumsy of you? - How absurd! My dear Sir Smasham, not a word! Now do sit down and have another, And tell us all about your brother – You know, the one who broke his head. Is the poor fellow still in bed? – A chair - allow me, sir! . . . Great Scott! That was a nasty smash! Eh, what? Oh, not at all: the chair was old – Queen Anne, or so we have been told. We’ve got at least a dozen more: Just leave the pieces on the floor. I want you to admire our view: Come nearer to the window, do: And look how beautiful . . . Tut, tut! You didn’t see that it was shut? I hope you are not badly cut! Not hurt? - A fortunate escape! Amazing! - Not a single scrape! And now, if you have finished tea, I fancy you might like to see A little thing or two I’ve got. That china plate? - Yes, worth a lot: A beauty too . . . Ah, there it goes! I trust it didn’t hurt your toes? Your elbow brushed it off the shelf? Of course: I’ve done the same myself. And now, my dear Sir Smasham – Oh! You surely don’t intend to go? You must be off? - Well, come again So glad you’re fond of porcelain!
The end