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Childrens
 
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SCHOOLBOY STUDIES - Part 1

I DO WISH THAT I HADN'T ATE 'EM
by
Bernard Newman

I’ve just been for a walk in the country
And all kind of objects I’ve seen
I passed by an orchard - and climbed up a tree
But the apples were ever so green.

Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t ate ‘em
I do feel so funny inside
You know, something told me I oughtn’t to steal
Oh, I do wish I hadn’t tried
The farmer chased me with a bulldog
I could see that the dog was real mad
He’d have killed me, I’m sure, if he’d caught me
And now I do wish that he had.

I’ve heard that some poet or other
Says that things ain’t as nice as they seem
I’ve proved that he’s right, for Ma left me alone
With two bob’s worth of strawberry icecream.

Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t ate it
I do feel so funny inside
I thought if I cleared it, it wouldn’t be missed
Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t tried
Please, somebody go for a doctor
For I feel might short in my breath
And if he don’t come quick, it may be too late
He will find me here frozen to death.

I’ve just been along to the pantry
As I do,when my mother ain’t near
And while I was searching I found such a prize
Six bottles of stone ginger-beer.

Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t drunk ‘em
I do feel so funny inside
My young brother said, “Why you can’t drink all that,”
Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t tried
Inside me the gas keeps on bubblin’
I feel like a human balloon
The angels would find I don’t need wings to fly
Oh, I do hope they come for me soon.

I’ve had some plum-pudding for dinner
All covered with sauce everywhere
I had two big helpings that mother gave me
And three more when she wasn’t there.

Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t ate it
I do feel so funny inside
You know, mother said I was eating too much
Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t tried
I’m sure that I’m not fit for school - not today
But mother says, “Hurry up, Dick.”
So if she declares that I must go to school
I’d better, p’raps, try to be - - quick?
 
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