Childhood
        
I DO WISH THAT I HADN'T ATE 'EM
by Bernard Newman I’ve just been for a walk in the country And all kind of objects I’ve seen I passed by an orchard - and climbed up a tree But the apples were ever so green. Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t ate ‘em I do feel so funny inside You know, something told me I oughtn’t to steal Oh, I do wish I hadn’t tried The farmer chased me with a bulldog I could see that the dog was real mad He’d have killed me, I’m sure, if he’d caught me And now I do wish that he had. I’ve heard that some poet or other Says that things ain’t as nice as they seem I’ve proved that he’s right, for Ma left me alone With two bob’s worth of strawberry icecream. Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t ate it I do feel so funny inside I thought if I cleared it, it wouldn’t be missed Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t tried Please, somebody go for a doctor For I feel might short in my breath And if he don’t come quick, it may be too late He will find me here frozen to death. I’ve just been along to the pantry As I do,when my mother ain’t near And while I was searching I found such a prize Six bottles of stone ginger-beer. Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t drunk ‘em I do feel so funny inside My young brother said, “Why you can’t drink all that,” Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t tried Inside me the gas keeps on bubblin’ I feel like a human balloon The angels would find I don’t need wings to fly Oh, I do hope they come for me soon. I’ve had some plum-pudding for dinner All covered with sauce everywhere I had two big helpings that mother gave me And three more when she wasn’t there. Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t ate it I do feel so funny inside You know, mother said I was eating too much Oh, I do wish that I hadn’t tried I’m sure that I’m not fit for school - not today But mother says, “Hurry up, Dick.” So if she declares that I must go to school I’d better, p’raps, try to be - - quick?
The end