THE CASTLEFORD LADIES MAGICAL CIRCLE.
by
Jake Thackray

The Castleford Ladies Magical Circle meets tonight.
In an upstairs aspidistra'd room that's lit by candlelight
Where Elizabeth Jones and Lily O'Grady
And three or four more married ladies
Practice every week unspeakable pagan rites.

Dressed in their Sunday coats and their flowerpot hats
Respectable middle-aged ladies - running to fat, at that.
There's Elizabeth Jones and Lily O'Grady
And three or four more married ladies
Each with a Woolworth's broomstick and a tabby cat.

But they don't waste time with a Ouija board
Or a seance now and again, no
None of your wittering twittering petty poltergeists for them, no
Elizabeth Jones and Lily O'Grady
And three or four more married ladies
Prefer to be tickled by the whiskery chins of bogey men.

Their husbands potter at snooker down the club
Unaware of the devilish jiggery poke and rub-a-dub-dub
While Elizabeth Jones and Lily O'Grady
And three or four more married ladies
Are frantically dancing naked for Beelzebub.

And after their witches picnic and their devil's grog,
After their savage pantings, their hysterical leap frog, well
Elizabeth Jones and Lily O'Grady
And three or four more married ladies
Go back home for cocoa and Epilogue.

So be careful how you go of a Saturday night
If you see a little old lady passing by, it very well might
Be Elizabeth Jones or Lily O'Grady
Or one of those satanical ladies
Their eyes are wild and bright, their cheeks are all alight
Don't go where they invite 'cos
The Castleford Ladies Magical Circle meets tonight.