COLLEEN
by
Benny Hill



Colleen, Colleen, oh I'm achin' for ya
Colleen, Colleen, my heart's breakin' for ya

The clothes that she wears they leave no doubt
Of the loverly figure she's got
And when she's wearing slacks you can see
That on her they are not

And when she goes walkin' down the street
The view that you get from the back
Reminds you of a couple of ferrets
A-tryin' to get out of a sack

Colleen, Colleen, oh I'm achin' for ya
Colleen, Colleen, my heart's breakin' for ya

I used to part me hair down the centre,
She said that was too severe
So just to please her I parted it
Across from ear to ear

"Now how d'you like me new hairstyle?"
I asked me Irish Rose
"Oh, darlin' you look marvellous!"
She whispered up me nose

Colleen, Colleen, oh I'm achin' for ya
Colleen, Colleen, my heart's breakin' for ya

We took me bald-headed Uncle Bert
To the cinema for a treat
He lost his teeth and he searched for them
Underneath her seat

Colleen she looked down and she saw
The bald-head of my Uncle Bert
She thought it was her kneecap
And she covered it with her skirt

Colleen, Colleen, oh I'm achin' for ya
Colleen, Colleen, my heart's breakin' for ya

Now we've married and we've settled
In a cottage in Ravout
The bed it is all broken
And the springs are sticking out

But when I recall our nights together,
Me heart it wants to sing
We kissed all through the winter
And made love right though the spring

Colleen, Colleen, oh I'm achin' for ya
Colleen, Colleen, my heart's breakin' for ya