FREDDY FUSS
by
Cyril Fletcher

This is the tale of Freddy Fuss
Who bought a double decker bus
And to his wife, one known as Kate,
Said 'This will do to live in mate.
No rent to pay not even fares,
So 'op on quick-get up them stairs.'
They bought wallpaper, paste and paint!
They made it look like what it ain't.
With Tudor beams and plaster pink
All mod cons plus Kitchen Sink.
No "Mon Repos' upon the gate
They had a destination plate.
And Mrs. Fred would lounge in bed
With "Do not Spit' above her head.
One day when Kate was in her bath,
She thought... 'I'll do it for a larf"
And with abandon-sad to tell
Stretched up her arm and rang the bell.
Her husband in the driving seat.
Drove at fifty down the street.
With Katie yelling "Stop you beast!"
And soap suds round her Aidgate East
But on it rushed as buses do
Until a low bridge hove in view.
T'was thus that Kate and Freddy Fuss
Came to own a top-less bus.
In other words at one fell blow
Their bus became a bungalow.
Whilst Katie, nude, without much hope
Tried to camouflage herself with soap.
Yelling to Fred "Now you've gone too far
Where do you suggest I put the loo-far?"
A passing postman, somewhat coarse
Said, 'If she's Godiva where's 'er 'orse?!'
Fred cried "Here's my boob for all to see
And with yours uncovered that makes three!
A boy on a push-bike started shrieking
'Cor! Look at that there lady... streaking.'
The latest news is Freddy Fuss
Now owns a single decker bus
Whilst Mrs. Fuss his better half
Wears a bikini in her barf.