This is the tale of Margery Spicer,
Who leant against a bacon slicer.
And as she jumped back murmured "Coo~
I think I've lost a slice or two."
With handbag covering the gash,
Home to her Mum she made a dash,
Her Mother said "Well, look 'ere Marge,
They've sliced lumps off your fuselage,
You'd better go back to the store,
And tell them what you're looking for."
When she arrived 'twas as she feared,
The bacon counter had been cleared,
The grocer said "Marge, I'm bereft,
The orders for today have left."
When she got home again she found
The errand boy had called around.
A bag and grocer's bill she saw,
For 5 back rashers, one and four
She said "This 'ere ain't half a caution,
They've sent me back my missing portion."
With Margie laid down on her face
To have the pieces sewn in place,
Her Mother said "Just as I thought
We are one blinkin' rasher short,"
Back to the shop she went again,
But all her pleading was in vain,
The manager replied with passion,
"You cannot have more than your ration."
And so with needle and a thread,
Mum sewed a sausage on instead,
And now, whatever else is said,
No one can say Marge ain't well bread.