Sally Small
by
Cyril Fletcher
This is the tale of Sally Small,
Proud owner of a market stall. 
She sold plates of luscious whelks,
Prawns and winkles in their shelks (soppy rhyme) 
And youngsters too came in their masses 
For her crustacean delicacies. 
Then came a time, and here's the rub 
When the landlord of her local pub 
Put on a show of which the star 
Danced topless in the Public Bar.
And all Sal's customers forsook'er
To see the topless one's basooker. 
Now Sally faced a hideous fate 
She couldn't sell a single plate. 
'How can I sell a single prawn 
Now all my customers are gorn 
Down to that topless disco bar 
To soak up beer and oo-la-la?' 
For the next episode we thank 
The manager of Sally's bank 
Tearfully she begged a little loan, 
'Until that crowd of over grown 
Schoolboys get tired of topless trollops
And come back to me and scoff my scollops.'...
Sternly the manager said 'No! 
You'll have to stimulate cash flow; 
Your assets up to now concealed 
Must now be totally revealed. 
Madam compete', he added flat, 
'You fight for custom, tit for tat.' 
'Ponder', he added, 'Then I trust, 
See the solution, bust or bust. 
That's my advice, how does it strike you?' 
'Oo you are awful but I like you.' 
Said Sal and then confessed, 
'Even me crabs was served up dressed. 
I can't close the stall and give them best 
I'll keep with changing trends abreast.' 
'Out of the old and into the blue,' 
Sang Sally seeing trade renew. 
Each customer to get a glimpse
From Sally bought a plate of shrimps.
A policeman came and parked his bike 
Saying, 'I've never not seen the like.
We must point out, Madam, pursuant to 
Street Trading Acts 19 HO 2,
A ten pound fine must be recovered 
On all fresh dishes found uncovered.' 
He looked at her o'er crabs and fish, 
And thought, 'You are a luscious dish. 
Too long, my darling, we have tarried.' 
Two weeks later they were married.
The end