Striptease Sue
by
Cyril Fletcher
I'll herewith introduce you to
A strip-tease dancer name of Sue
Each night performed upon the halls
Casting off her scanty 'smalls',
She clutched balloon instead of fan
As lightly round the stage she ran
And due to covering quite inferior
Showed portions of her pink exterior
At this the crowd would loudly cheer
(With witty comments from the rear)
Suggesting that they'd like revealed
Those bits and pieces still concealed
But to this show there came one night
A schoolboy, name of Freddie White
On looking round he spotted soon
The front of Sue behind balloon
An evil gleam grew in his eye
As with a soft and thankful sigh 
Prepared to use with action drastic
His catapult of strong elastic
And as she in position came
Young Fred drew long and careful aim
Then sped the pellet swift as thought
Followed quickly by a loud report
Balloon then vanished from the eye
And Sue was left in short supply.
Then came shouts of wild applause
With shouts of 'Bravo' and 'Encores'
And whiskered geezers green with age
Tried to scramble on the stage
But Sue was meanwhile well aware
She could no longer linger there
And to save herself from fate uncertain
Swiftly scrambled up the curtain
Halfway to the top she stuck
Despite the cries of 'Go on duck,
Keep on climbing that's alright,
You don't 'arf look a pretty sight.'
She may have stayed up there for hours
Depending on her staying powers 
Had not a stage hand, name of Brown
Volunteered to fetch her down.
On reaching her he closed his eyes
And clutched quite firm his luscious prize
Then Sue cried out in accents cruel
'Hold me here, not there, you fool:'
This story would have ended there
With Sue a sorry 'tail' to 'bare'
But quoth the manager called Len
'We'll do the whole darn thing again'
And so at half past eight each night
Poor Sue repeats her former plight
The crowd look on with stupid awe
As bubbles start to burst galore
And leaping up they stare pop-eyed
At Venus thus personified. 
The end