Pam Davies
A girl called Vanessa, while feeling a mess 
Had an urge to get fit, glam' and thin,
So off in pursuit of a leotard suit, 
Went Vanessa to follow her whim.
Now Vanessa was fat and the reason for that, 
Was the cake and the booze and the bun,
The snacks late at night, heavy mostly not light 
And more time than she should on her bum!
But this dieting wisdom, shook rigid her system. 
Her tum thought her throat had been cut...
And her body rebelled, as her campaign compelled
Her to move to get out of her rut.
So, off to the gym, to repent all her sins, 
To lift weights and ride bikes that won't move.
Bending knees that were stiff, 
Finding weights she CAN'T lift, 
Rowing boats that were stuck in a groove.
Her body now aching, her tummy mistaking 
Her hunger for pains in the muscles,
She went back to her garret, in search of a carrot, 
A couple of eggs and some Brussels.
Bored now and starving, her diet was halving 
Her wants to align with her needs,
So that now all she's got, always cold never hot, 
Was a nibble instead of a feed.
But slowly it worked and where fat had once lurked, 
There were bones propping out bits of skin...
And where once there had been, two or three double chins, 
Was a neck that resembled a pin!
So now she was happy, no more fat and flabby, 
Her face pretty, hair smart and lacquered.
She's totally changed, all her bits rearranged. 
Just one problem... she's totally KNACKERED!!
The end