THAT IS
THE END OF THE NEWS

written by Noel Coward
performed by
Joyce Grenfell

  We are told very loudly and often
To lift up our hearts,
We are told that good humour will soften
Fate's cruelest darts
So however bad our domestic troubles may be
We just shake with amusement and sing with glee.

Heigho, Mum's had those pains again,
Granny's in bed with her varicose veins again,
Everyone's gay because dear cousin Florrie
Was run down on Saturday night by a lorry,
We're so thrilled, Elsie's in trouble,
That hernia she had has turned out to be double,
When Albert fell down all
The steps of the Town Hall
He got three bad cuts and a bruise.

We're delighted
To be able to say
We're unable to pay
Off our debts,
We're excited
Because Percy's got mange
And we've run up a bill at the vet's.
Three cheers! Ernie's got boils again,
Everything's covered in ointment and oils again,
Now he's had seven
Continue Return