Wouldn't say boo to a goose.
You wouldn't think she ever could
Suddenly break loose.
But get her inside a stadium
And her face turns a terrible puce.

'THROW HIM OUT OF THE WINDER!' she yells,
And her eyes go a terrible red.
'SWIPE 'EM!' she says, looking cheerful,
'SWIPE 'EM UNTIL THEY'RE DEAD!'
'SH-SH!' I say, 'ETHEL!'
'SH-SH!' and I nearly die,
'SWIPE HIM AND GRIND HIS FACE IN THE MUD!'
She says,
'AND PUT YOUR THUMB IN HIS EYE!'

I don't understand Ethel,
I don't, I don't, really.
She's one of my very best friends,
Just about the best, nearly.
She's and awfully quiet girl, Ethel is,
That's why I never see
What makes her carry on like that,
Noisy as can be.
Then last Saturday down at the stadium
Well... it suddenly happened to me.
  'BREAK HIS SILLY NECK!' I yells, 'IRON HIM OUT!'
Well, Ethel was startled at that.
'IRON HIM!' I says, feeling lovely,
'IRON HIM UNTIL HE'S FLAT!'
'OOH', I says, 'ETHEL!'
'OOH', and I did feel queer.
Then she grinned, and we both of us gave a yell
'BITE A BIT OUT OF HIS EAR!'


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