AT THE COURT OF
GOOD QUEEN BESS
by
Elsie and Doris Waters


We're a couple of bits of cracklin' 
from the court of Good Queen Bess
She was known as the 'Virgin Queen' 
and as a queen she was a great success.
We were her maids in waiting, there... 
we did some waiting too, Oh yeah!

At the court of Good Queen Bess, 
at the court of Good Queen Bess
We did our best to give the boys, 
an eyeful more or less.
In frocks like ours, we couldn't fail, 
the skirts stuck out just like a sail
But it wasn't 'alf cold round the farthingale, 
at the court of Good Queen Bess

Now Bess had lots of boyfriends, 
you've heard of that, no doubt
'Twas part of my job to let them in...
 but nobody saw me let them out.
She said, 'Leave me, girls... begone, 
I'm quite safe with my bumpers on.

At the court of Good Queen Bess, 
at the court of Good Queen Bess
Lizzie was a spinster... and she 
looked it more or less.
When Raleigh she refused to wed... 
he taught her how to smoke, instead
And they found his fag-ends underneath the bed, 
at the court of Good Queen Bess

You've heard of the Earl of Leicester, 
well he was the queen's big noise,
With his velvet cloak and his silken hose,
 no wonder he cut out all the boys.
His bags were trimmed with lace, how queer!... 
well, girls still think it's a good idea!

At the court of Good Queen Bess, 
at the court of Good Queen Bess
To try and get a cuddle 
wasn't easy, I confess.
Their armour was so hard and bright 
that when the boyfriends came in sight
The minstrel played, 'In Tin Tonight', 
at the court of Good Queen Bess

The jester cracked the same old jokes 
you hear now, more or less,
Bess had her favourites by the hour,
 she started by giving them each a flower.
But they all finished up in T'Bloody Tower, 
at the court of Good Queen Bess.

The end