THE HORSE FANCIER
by
Pam Davies
I've taken a fancy to horses. 
The ones that can run, not the rest.
The pedigree fillies, no Neddy's or Willie's,
I'm only supporting the best!
I got the idea watching tele', 
When Ascot was on with the Queen,
She rode in her carriage, with Duke from her marriage, 
I thought it a fabulous scene.
All of the ladies looked lovely, 
with hats that were out of this world,
Some with a feather, that blew in the weather, 
and some with a brim that was curled.
Shoes were a bit of a problem, 
Some of the heels were so high.
Some were abandoned, were held in the hand and 
Were likely to poke out an eye!
Gents were incredibly handsome. 
Top hat and tails was the theme.
Some had a stick as the winner they'd pick 
And in places they came as a team.
Saddling up were the jockeys, 
Dressed in their silks and their boots.
Talking to horses when out on the course is 
essential for winning the groups.
Suddenly there was a winner. 
Punters collected their share. 
Etiquette rocked, the enclosure was shocked 
as the Queen's hat went up in the air!
I had decided that racing, 
was just the excitement for me,
So off to the bookie, though only a rooky, 
I went with my 25p.
I had a look at the runners, 
nothing was taking my eye,
Then out of the blue, a solution came through, 
one was named after my Auntie Vi!
I'll have that! I explained to the bookie, 
and gave him my 25p
I thought he'd be terribly grateful 
but he looked astounded at me.
Still he accepted my gamble, 
he gave me a ticket and I...
...went and watched on the bookmakers tele', 
to await the victorious Vi.
I thought I'd got the wrong colours, 
Auntie was slipping away,
She was now galloping backwards, 
this wasn't my lucky day.
I have now made a decision. 
Nothing's more certain than that,
I'm giving up backing horses, 
I'll just go and buy the big HAT!
The end