THE THING-UMMY-BOB
Thompson, Heneker (1942)
Performed by
Gracie Fields
You've heard of Florence Nightingale, Grace Darling and the rest,
You've all seen Greta Garbo and her busom friend, Mae West,
But there's a little lady, I want you all to meet, 
She's working on munitions and she lives just down the street. 
She can't pretend to be, a great celebrity but still... 
She's most important in her way,
The job she has to do, may not seem like much to you
But all the same, I'm very proud to say...

She's the girl that makes the thing 
That drills the hole
That holds the spring 
That drives the rod 
That turns the knob 
That works the thing-ummy-bob.
She's the girl that makes the thing 
That holds the oil 
That oils the ring 
That takes the shank 
That moves the crank 
That works the thing-ummy-bob.

It's a ticklish sort of job making a thing for a thing-ummy-bob, 
Especially when you don't know what it's for. 

But it's the girl that makes the thing 
That drills the hole that holds the spring 
That works the thing-ummy-bob 
That makes the engines roar.
And it's the girl that makes the thing 
That holds the oil
That oils the ring 
That works the thing-ummy-bob
That's going to win the war.

She's not what you would call, a heroine, at all
I don't suppose you'll even know her name
And though she'll never boast, of her important post
She strikes a blow for Britain just the same.

She's the girl that makes the thing 
That drills the hole
That holds the spring 
That drives the rod 
That turns the knob 
That works the thing-ummy-bob.
She's the girl that makes the thing 
That holds the oil 
That oils the ring 
That takes the shank 
That moves the crank 
That works the thing-ummy-bob.

It's a ticklish sort of job making a thing for a thing-ummy-bob, 
Especially when you don't know what it's for. 

But it's the girl that makes the thing 
That drills the hole 
That holds the spring 
That works the thing-ummy-bob 
That makes the engines roar.
And it's the girl that makes the thing 
That holds the oil
That oils the ring 
That works the thing-ummy-bob
That's going to win the war.
The end