Pam Davies
This summer is taking the mickey!
Pretending to be what it's not!
It's terribly flooded and rainy and cold
and it's s'posed to be terribly 'ot!
I ventured out in me sandals,
that was a massive mistake.
Followed by snickers, I should have worn flippers,
knowing the road is a lake.
Normally slugs are a problem,
eating me lettuce and such,
This year a trout, in the flood took 'em out.
What do I think of that? Well not much!
"Buy lots of cactus!" they told us.
"Plants that will not need a drink!"
They're quite a sight, in the miserable light.
Quite a spectacle watching 'em sink!
I like to go to the seaside,
when there's a sun in the sky.
Now I've a spot, in the vegetable plot,
very similar now the tide's high! 
I bought a lovely bikini,
with pretty lace on the cup,
I won't be wearing it but I'll be sharing it,
helping the neighbours mop up!
I'm thinking now, roll on winter,
let's 'ave some weather that's fine.
Christmas was warmer, a tree in the corner
and plenty of cake and mulled wine!
But maybe this warming the planet,
is not such a terrible thing,
All of this will be solved, when in time we've evolved
and we're born with two gills and a fin!
The end