She's says, "You'd best sling your harp and bugger off sharp,
'Cos if our Joe comes you'll get a good hiding!"

"Hang on Mrs er... It's all 'whyfores' and 'wheres'"
She says, "Miss!" he says "What?" she says "Miss!"
"Miss?" he says, "Oh, you're not married?" she says, "No!"
He says, "In that case it's bad news, is this."

He says, "What it says, is; in a couple of days,
Your gan' to give birth to a saviour,
Some sort of Messiah." She says, "Eeh, you big liar,
We don't go in for that sort of behaviour."

Mary was struck dumb, then as fast as he'd come
He done a bunk in a flash of white light
She says, "Oh yeah, thanks a bunch, put us right off me lunch,
And now me corsets have gone really tight."

She met up with her pals down by the canal
Where the charabanc was sat sitting waitin'
"What time d'you call this?" said Joe givin her a kiss
She says, "Shush, Joe, give ower creatin'."
  Joe helped her on the bus, made a right flaming fuss
Gave a heave and gritted his teeth.
He gave a big push, Mary started to blush
He says "Bugger me, you've narf piled on some beef!"

She's says, "Ha'ad yer gob, Joe. There's summat you should know,
I've just discovered I'm gan' to give birth."
He looked her straight in the eye, says "You what?" she says "Aye"
And started explaining for all she was worth.

She says, "I'm supposin' we should be glad we were chosen,
Fancy picking us! What's the odds?"
He says, "There's summat I'm missin', can you get pregnant by kissin'?"
She says, "No, you daft tatie, it's God's!"

She thought she'd best mention divine intervention
'Cos Joe was, like, smelling a rat
He says, "Oh aye, hunky-dory, you mean he takes the glory,
And leaves us with the bairn... Bugger that!"
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