They carried their packages up onto top deck
And sat in two seats at the back
"Can't wait till the chaps see us spanking new caps"
"Hic, and so's I an'all too." said Mac.

But that night when they met in the Plasterers Arms
There was neither of em wearing their hats
Mac says, "Mine's the wrong size, it fell down over me eyes"
Jim says, "That's a coincidence, is that."

"Cos mine's far to small it were no use at all,
Sat on top of me head like a bap,
I'm going back and play hell" "Aye and I am as well,
He'll get the sharp end of my tongue'll that chap."

So they met the next day outside of the shop
"You know, I'm not really a complainer" said Jim
"No, I'm not an'all - and that bloke's really tall"
So they went into the Swan for two gin.

They'd a couple of quick'uns then a couple more slow
Washed down with a couple of stouts
Then a couple of beers just to keep their heads clear
Then they picked up their parcels and went out.
  They got to the cap shop, Mac pushed Jim in first
"I've a complaint!" "You've a what?" said the bloke
"A complaint" he says "Oh?" They said "Aye" He says "So?"
"It's these caps were you having a joke?"

"A joke?" Said the bloke "I don't do that to folk"
"Well how d'you explain this then" Mac said
And he took out his cap from the brown paper wrap
And plonked it on top of his head.

Then says "Heavens above... bugger fits like a glove,
That's funny cos it didn't last night"
So Mac tried his on and it fit, whereupon
They both turned as red as a back lights.

They apologised and left with their tails ‘tween their legs
"Summat strange happened there, don't you think?"
Said Mac, scratching his head "I'm quite puzzled" Jim said
So they popped into the Swan for a drink.

Now as true as I'm standing here telling this tale
You'll not guess what happened that night
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