"You dlive a hard bargain" the Chinaman said
And from 'is wallet he peeled off a bluey
He said "You bling the cow and I give you now,
First flee meal - king plawn chop-suey"

"Champion" says Jack.  He couldn't wait to get back
And tell 'is ma 'bout the deal he'd just made
She weren't chuffed, as it 'appens and gave him a slappin'
Then chased him down't street wi' a spade

The chop suey got chucked out o' t'window
She'd to start peelin' taters instead
And Jack, he got nowt, cos she locked the lad out
And he 'ad to spend t'night in the shed

Now the chop suey it landed on the compost heap
and it started to sprout overnight
Next morn there's a beansprout a hundred foot high
So big that it blocked out the light

Jack couldn't believe it – he squinted 'is eyes
Then he thought he'd best climb up it quick
Cos he heard 'is mam shout and then she came out
And she were weildin' a dirty great stick
  He soon disappeared from out 'is mam's reach
And climbed till he were right up in t'clouds
He saw a little bloke there, like stood on a chair
Who were screamin' and shoutin' dead loud

"I'm the giant! I'll kill yer!" - Jacks says "Yer a what?"
He says "I'm a giant" Jack says "Yer too small"
The giant says "For a start, I'm quite big round these parts,
So just watch it or I'll eat you an' all"

Jack says "You're not a giant" He says "I am too,
I'm a great ogre and they call me Big Kevin"
Jack says "Well how come, you din't fee-fi-fo-fum,
And you're only about four foot eleven?"

Kev says "You needn't talk you cheeky young gawk,
Yer hardly Charles Atlas yersel,
You need a good clout! Yer what? Four stone nowt?"
Jack says "I know, but I haven't been well"

"Since dad popped 'is clogs we've had a right flippin' job
No food an' no money or nowt"
Continue Return