Gary Hogg

  Cain and Mabel were hidin' behind the settee
Cos the rent man was at the front door
When Cain noticed summat under the skirtin' board
That no one had noticed before

He whispered to Mabel "Look at that, Ma
There's a light shinin' through from in there,
That's a right funny biz, last in the street, this house is,
Through that hole should be nowt but fresh air."

So when the rent man had gone, Pa says, "Now hang on,
I've always thought this room was small,
When you look from outside, it looks fifteen foot wide,
But in here, it's nine foot, wall-to-wall"

"There's six foot gone astray" Ma says "Get away!
A secret room behind the wall is that right?"
"Well ain't that peculiar, fetch our Graham's ruler,
He was sword-fencin' with it last night"

So they measured within and they measured without
Right enough they found six foot not there
"I know what I'll do" Pa says "I'll knock through,
I'll make a hole just behind that there chair"
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