And his eyeballs lit up like a kid
He says, "That would be swell, can you get dancers as well?
And I'll throw in another few quid!"

So he got him ten lasses from Miss Bollards dance classes
He says, "Can you get us some male dancers too?"
So he booked him a dozen 'Lords-a-leaping'
But there was one of 'em down with the flu.

There was a drummers convention going on at Town Hall
And as soon as the bloke heard the racket
He says, "Get onto Town Hall and book that lot an'all"
Sid says, "What? It'll cost you a packet!"

He says, "Money's no object but I think that's me lot
I don't want folks thinking I'm daft"
Sid says, "Oh well, righto. You started it though"
And the bloke looked at Sid and just laughed.

He says, "No, that's me lot, lets have a look what we've got,
Now I don't want to take them away,
I'd like them delivered to my girlfriends address,
But not all to arrive the same day."
  Sid wasn't too keen, he says, "How d'you mean?"
He says, "Send round the partridge tomorrow,
And the day after that, the two turtle doves,
Then the French hens the next, do you follow?"

"The day after that, there's the four calling birds,
And the rings on the following day,
Then the geese and the swans and whole carry-on…
"Sid says "Whoa lad, hang on. There's no way"

"I mean, I'm really obliged for your order 'n' that,
Like anyone, I could do with the business,
But they'll stay on the shelf unless you take 'em yourself...
'Cos' I'm closed for twelve days over Christmas"

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