written by
Long, Pether, & George Robey
  The day Brown got married, he did look upset,
He was bubbly with anticipation
Which later he found to his bitter regret
Was better than realisation
As he sat in the train on his honeymoon tour
The blushing bride said, coy and demure
'Oh that kind guard has labelled the carriage 'engaged'
Did he get that idea all alone?'
And Brown said 'Yes, and what more, I've just locked the door
That's a little idea of my own.'

Soon after his wedding brown has to leave home
For the usual business reason
It's hard lines when newly wed men have to roam
Soon after the honeymoon season
And the doctor next door was a bit of a lad
Once Brown saw that the doctor's eye on his wife had clad
So Brown bought her some apples, a large basketful
On the morning he left her alone
For an apple a day keeps the doctor away
And that was a little idea of his own.
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