Greatrex Newman &
Graham Squiers

A short time ago at a friend's house, I was introduced to a very languid individual with an immaculate dress suit and an eye-glass. His hair was brushed back over his head, evidently to indicate where the brains would have been if he'd had any. However, he managed to drawl out to me an adventure of his, which was quite worth hearing, so I had it set to rhyme, and will give it you, just as I had to put up with it.
I'm going to welate an adventure,
That will cause you to gasp for bweath,
Of how my noble young life was saved,
And snatched fwom the jaws of death.

I'd gone down to Wamsgate last Summer,
To take a short west by the sea,
But after I'd stayed there a few weeks or more,
I found it was too dull for me.

My doctah said, "Twy exercising,
Just work if you find the time lag,"
So then I twied wolling my own cigawettes
But that was too much beastly fag.

One morning I got up quite early,
About half past ten it would be,
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