ALBERT AND THE PRIVY
by
John Bilsborough 1968

  Now the Ramsbottom family and Albert
Are sufficiently well known to you
To relate an authentic occurance...
And furthermore, this tale is true.

The great River Irwell in Bury
Flows majestic'ly down to the sea,
Right past the Ramsbottoms' back garden,
And past their outside w.c.

Now, I needn't say much about privies -
You've heard of the things, I can tell.
They're found in all civilised places,
And in some parts of Wales as well. (suit youself)

T'were a most well-appointed little building,
There weren't no denying of that,
Like a sentery-box with a door on,
And "Welcome" wrote large on the mat.

Well, Albert had studied this privy.
T'were made of wood, so... it might float.
And wi't river so highly adjacent,
He thowt as it might make a boat.

The weather were wild and tempsesturous -
He crept down in the middle of the night,

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